[Non di solo libro] Eri Potte e li Doni de li Mortacci sua – parte I

CHOMP CHOMP! BURP! AAAAAAH

Ao’, state qua? Se rivedemo presto.
Scusate l’ora, stavo a diggerì l’urtimi cinque minuti d’Eri Potte e li Doni de li Mortacci sua
A no. Dice la tarla mia che nun se dice così.
Vabbé, che volete, sempre tarlo incolto so’, io.
E diggerire Eri Potte 19 anni dopo co’la panza che gli è venuta…
Uh, scusate, v’ho spoilerato.
Però ce lo sapete, no, come finisce.
Allora, famo che ricomincio dar principio. Stamo all’urtimo capitolo de la saga der maghetto. Vordermor comanna sur monno de la maggia, Eri, er Roscio e la Stracciamaroni d’Ermione nun tornano a Oguorts.
Devono annà a caccia de li doni de li mortacci sua.
E mica è tanto facile, eh. Nun se sa ndo’ stanno, poi ce sta sta robba de li Mangiamorte che te se parano innanzi quanno meno te l’aspetti.
Ao’, er libbro è na forza, eh. Peccato che more Eduige, la civetta de Eri Potte. Manco se la ponno portà a casa, stanno a seminà li Mangiamorte. Chissà come glie veniva lo stufato de civetta.
Uh, scusate. Ho urtato la senzibbilità der nipotino, glie devo asciugà un par de lacrime.
Dicevo, questi nun tornano a Oguorts e se ne vanno in giro pel monno de li maghi.
Na bella scampagnata.
intanto l’ordine de la fenice se fa er culo, ma questi se ne vanno in giro pe le foreste a cercà l’orcruz.
E a Oguorts ce sta er Renato Zero der monno de li maghi che fa er preside.
N’allegria… Sì, perché dovete sapere che da quanno ce sta Vordermor al potere c’è la caccia ai babbani.
Si sei babbano nun poi esse mago.
Io nun so tante cose, ma me ricordo de uno che diceva ste cose d’artra gente, tant’anni fa.
Mica è divertente, eh.
Vabbé, poi com’è come non è questi mentre cercano che ti ricercano finiscono prigionieri a casa Malfoy. Sto brutto fijo de na m…
Pare che so’ spacciati, e nvece gli ariva Dobbi l’erfo libbero. Quello che ner secondo volume a momenti fa espelle Eri Potte.
Mo’ è diventato na forza, eh. Ce sta un duello e se li li porta via tutti, ma quell’arta figlia de na… AJO! Scusate, la tarla mia è un po’ femminara.
vabbé, ce sta Bellatrics, che glie tira un pugnale e lo ammazza.
Poro erfo. Quant’ho pianto.
Sapete che c’è? che qui poi me vie’ un cortocircuito.

Perché er libbro continua, ma er film se ferma. Perché er film è spezzato in du’ parti.
Ve devo dì che er film nun è così teribbile come l’artro.
Però la prima parte è du’ cojoni. Ner senso che ner libbro ce stanno sti tre che girano pe’ la foresta, e se fanno na serie de pippe mentali che nei libbri ce stanno bene. Ao’, passano mesi in giro, eh. Pure Ron se rompe er cazzo a un certo punto, e se ne va perchè nun sanno se grattasse l’orologio o caricasse er culo.
Ma ner libro va bene, eh, mica te rompi.
Ner film a un certo punto glie manneresti n’incendio nella foresta, ma no per quarcosa, perché te rompi li c… HO CAPITO, NUN DICO PAROLE.
(sempre la tarla mia)
Vabbé, poi a un certo punto se ripija pure er film. Quanno trovano la spada de Grifondoro. Che glie serve pe rompe sti cosi, sti orcruz. Ce n’hanno uno, lo rompono, glie ne mancano atri 4 (sapete, ce ne stanno tre che so’ già stati messi fuori uso, uno era er diario de Tom Riddol, l’artro un anello, poi ce sta er medaglione).
Ecco, ce sta na parte che ho gradito proprio, ner film.
Quanno vanno dar papà de Luna e scoprono li doni de li mortacci sua.
Ammazza che robba appetitosa! Un cartone raffinato! Pure un po’ sprecato pe’ uno come me. Ma era bbono, ammazza.
Epperò sta prima parte, nun è che m’è piaciuta tanto.
Sapete che c’è?
Mo’ me rivedo bene la seconna e ve la racconto st’arta settimana.

CHOMP! CHOMP!

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105 commenti

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    Considerando che non ho letto il libro né visto il film… gran bella recensione!! ah ah ah, ma li mortacci…

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